Please Help

This is probably going to be the most serious blog I do here, so I’m sorry if you don’t enjoy it. I promise they won’t all be like this, but the main reason I wanted to be anonymous was so I could talk about these problems. I haven’t been able to talk to anyone else about this and I just want someone to listen.

Lets start at the beginning.

When I was around 7 years old I started to realise a member of my family was different. Not like most people. I don’t know quite when, but I found out it was obsessive compulsive disorder. I didn’t treat them any different as I didn’t know what it meant.

When I was 8 years old I started this ‘routine’ thing where every night I would have to do a certain amount of things or ‘something bad would happen’. When I was 9 it got really bad. I had to say ‘night night’ over 14times! Although it got better it never has stopped.

Around when I was 11 we went on a school trip to a place very far away for a week. Everything was fine I wasn’t worried as I was always excited when going away. However on the first night I got a bad migraine. I thought I was going to vomit. I then started REALLY missing home. I had NEVER got homesick before. Since then I have always been so so worried about going away and it has been many years later. It has definitely made me not do many things I would have loved.

When I started senior school I started getting a bit anxious which is normal for moving to senior school. I was actually worried I had got ocd because of the ‘routine’. I could never tell anyone so I made a huge mistake. I went to the school councillor. It was bad because it didn’t help anything. But also my parents found out and they were upset I couldn’t talk to them so I stopped going.

Recently though it got a lot worse. I was told I had to spend a week in Spain with school. One night about a week before going I sat with my mum and had a really big panic. I don’t know what it was only that I couldn’t breath and couldn’t think. Luckily when I went to Spain my favourite teacher in the world was there. She understood and helped me through it. I did have a few panicky moments but nothing major. I could never have done it without her.

I thought everything was getting better. But then I fell ill. I don’t really know what it was but they think it was gastritis which turned into severe constipation. Because of it I didn’t go to school 4 weeks straight. I was freaking out about school work. Then one day my mum got a call I had to go in and talk to the nurse. I then had another huge panic. Just the thought of going back and seeing everyone. I was screaming but I was shoved into a car. I then went in on the last day before Christmas holidays. It was really really hard but as it was the last day everyone was distracted. Now school is approaching I am so anxious. I don’t know what to do. Please help.

I’m sorry if I’m making a big deal of nothing. I will probably take this post down to, maybe the blog.

AGirlsBlog out. xx

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Please Help

  1. stadarooni says:

    While I cannot say to any personal experience, I would talk with someone that you trust and makes you feel happy. Maybe that teacher that you mentioned is a good person to go to, but one thing I can say that made me feel more comfortable is to keep busy. There have been many times where I have felt unhappy and slightly anxious, but keeping myself very busy let my mind stay in focus and happy as well. Sorry if my advice doesn’t come across as too helpful, but I hope it does! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. jennymarie4 says:

    You are so brave to share your story. I know how it feels, as I blog about when I used to have anxiety and panic attacks, and my daughter did too. Sometimes it’s good therapy to write, so I encourage you to keep writing. Please know that you are not alone. And there is help available. There are millions of other people who struggle with what you have. It can help to talk about it. I was shocked to know how many people have panic attacks. I’m not sure if you’ve seen your doctor about this, but mine helped a lot. Thank you for finding my blog. I’m so happy to connect with you. I understand about being anonymous. My blog is too. Take care, Jenny 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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